Life Updates

Some updates from Life...................
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This week I tried to laugh, and make people laugh. God knows how much I succeeded, but will try to keep laughing and make people laugh.
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Some people try to talk to themselves, as if they are in a real situation. However, sometimes the situation actually is Utopian, created by them to replace the real situations. Reality can sometimes be frightening, so illusion works. How much, is the answer to find.
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Some one challenged me this week. I replied, but failed. The challenge repeated itself. Will take care of that in other blogs. Darna to kabhi humne sikha hi nahi.
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Learnt a new word—nincompoop. Was very happy, till I found its meaning—moron, silly. Imagine how I would have fealt when I heard Steve Martin using it in the film Sgt. Bilko.
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Madan Lal wants to be the coach of India because He feels that he has become a better communicator since he was the coach of India. Anyways, have any one of you ever had a chance to hear him? You will know what I mean to say.
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Wonder sometimes, how Sunil Gavaskar and Ravi Shastri Manage to get time off to pick the coach of Indian Team. Don't you know, they always decline to become the coach because they have prior commitments to different television companies?
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Indian Idol is looking better in the absence of Anu Malik. Some one please take care of Alisha.
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Tulsi is dying. She is being replaced by Gautmi. Who will she replace, Tulsi or her corpse? Well leaving it to Ekta... she knows better. Well I have an Idea for her. Rather than jumping 20 years in future (which she has done 20 times. So all her characters are more than 500 years old.), she should jump 5000 years in Back and show how Baa had been married to 70 different characters, divorced 70 different characrters, and loved 100 different characters. This will take her serial to a new life. She will take care of the TRPs.
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What else?

Cheers
Kundan

Some voices-and answers

Someone read my blog yesterday (finally) and tried to give me a fitting reply. Each point in my blog was picked up, trashed and then left to cry in pain.

When I read my blog after coming from my office with the fading sense of hope that someone might read (one day) what I write, I was pleasantly surprised to find a lonely comment (hanging out of my blog like one hangs out of a STA bus in the morning while coming to the office).

I immediately remembered what the Forrest Gump's mama used to say, "life is like a chocolate, and you never know what you get inside". After seeing the blog, I felt the same way, "blog is like a chocolate, and you never know when you find a comment attached to it".

I felt like Goustave Courbet, suddenly being told that his paintings have fetched the highest prize in the Paris Salon, and that he does not need to paint 'Burial at Ornans' to prove that he is a Bohemian.

But! Alas! The comment killed all my enthusiasm; I was forced to reconsider my views on comments. And then I thanked my Hanuman Ji, for it was only because of him that I got a comment and a chance to reply to that comment. First, take a look at the comment itself ( written in such a beautiful way and with such great sense that I was forced to past the entire comment for my wider audience). The comment says:

thanks for a nearly perfect gastronomical analysis of me. i would only add one thing, 'she eats anything and everything' is not exactly correct. I beg to state that I detest any kind of health food ...and m more interested in non-edible or edible but non-efficacious things. Please do make a note!
Now for your answer to my question, some observations :
1. I fast on Tuesdays because it gives me an opportunity of not seeing something that I have been seeing for my entire life; the food. Next day, I am fresh to eating.
Going by the same logic, can you perhaps, not breathe one particular day of the week? so that the next day fresh air seems fresher??
2. I fast because it cleanses my body of all the toxins that keep accumulating for all the week.
....what is the point, if after a one-day break you go back to the toxin-intake routine?
3. I fast because I believe in the strength of hanuman ji. He is the only god that could give us the strength to fight against the odds that we face in our life. And Tuesday is his day.
But y exactly do you think hanumanji would give you more strength if you refrain from eating? has he categorically stated such a condition of his benevolence anywhere?
4. I fast because it saves food.
but i am sure u make up for it rest of the days of the week. y not diet? for greater effect?
5. I fast because it gives me the opportunity to understand the pain of hunger, the pain of not eating.
give me a break dear..to just said u fast to please hanumanji. that is quite a selfish reason. dont try to pass it off as empathy or sympathy...
and old, cliched and boring but they are true and written from the heart; not from the stomach. stomach? or mind with dwindling grey matter?????

Thanks for such wonderful comments. Now I will try to reply all your points, though I know that I would be difficult matching you style and substance. So I will start from the bottom. Only then you can sense the Zenith of victory.

1. Comment 1: stomach? or mind with dwindling grey matter?????
Answer 1.: I always believe that a writer writes from his/her heart, not from his/her mind. Because he knows that mind has gray matter that dwindles. But heart is made of a unique muscle tissue (cardiac) that has nothing to worry about dwindling. More importantly, it feels. And feeling is the most important factor that forces you to write.
Why not stomach? Because, when it is empty, it remains in the influence of Saiitan.

2. Comment 2: give me a break dear..to just said u fast to please hanumanji. that is quite a selfish reason. dont try to pass it off as empathy or sympathy...
Answer 2.: Some consequences are unintentional, but they happen. Remember, trains were introduced in India to exploit the hinterlands of our country, but unintentionally they became one of the factors to unite India. Mine is also unintentional, but it happens, and I can't help it.

3. Comment 3: But y exactly do you think hanumanji would give you more strength if you refrain from eating? has he categorically stated such a condition of his benevolence anywhere?
Answer 3.: Ramanuja said, 'Bhakti is all about unconditional love between a bhakt and his bhagwan'. I truly believe this. Why should I wait for Hanuman Ji to come and tell me to Fast. I do it to show my unintentional love towards him. He in return, which I am presuming, have been giving me his unconditional blessings.

4. Comment 4: ....what is the point, if after a one-day break you go back to the toxin-intake routine?
Answer 4.: An action is the reaction of the totality of circumstances. You should have toxins in your body to get rid of that. Without toxins in my body, my totality of circumstances would not be complete. And my fasting would become somewhat redundant.

5. Comment 5: Going by the same logic, can you perhaps, not breathe one particular day of the week? so that the next day fresh air seems fresher??
Answer 5.: Despite your noble intentions of killing me, I still have an answer to you comment. I want to take a day off from something that I can see. I can see food, and that tempts me. But I don't see air, so I don't have any temptation for it. I am not Benjamin Franklin who believed in taking fresh air bath. I am satisfied from the amount of air that has been given to me by my Hanuman Ji.

6. Comment 6: thanks for a nearly perfect gastronomical analysis of me. i would only add one thing, 'she eats anything and everything' is not exactly correct. I beg to state that I detest any kind of health food ...and m more interested in non-edible or edible but non-efficacious things. Please do make a note!
Answer 6.: You are too good a person to be analyzed solely on the basis of what you eat and what not (it may or may not be efficacious). You are very right in detesting health foods. God has given you enough health; anything more would be ............ Well it would force you to fast.

Well, keep eating everything (non-edible or edible). It makes you unique. It's better to be unique than to be lost in the crowd and then struggling to find one's identity.

Cheers
Kundan

why do I fast on tuesdays?

This was the question asked to me by one of my colleagues. I thought it would be wise to write a blog and share my views on fasting to a wider audience, ha, ha, ha! But before I elaborate on reasons for my keeping fast on Tuesdays, I would like to give you a glimpse of my esteemed colleague, who asked me this wise question.

She is an antithesis to fasting. In fact, even hearing the word "fast" makes her hungry. She eats anything and everything. These days she eats a mysterious seed-like thing, which comes out from and anar dana like bottle. God knows what that seed is. If that is for digestion, then she needs that more than any one on this solar system. Why??? Because, her eating session starts from 9 :30 in the morning and ends at 6 in the evening. She eats paranthas, seeds, sabzis, rotis, chawals, and even pen. Yes, she is the serial killer of all the pen that comes in her vicinity. The back of the pen is chewed continuously with such precision that nothing is left of that. Sometimes, ink from the pen finds its way out in to her mouth.

Yes sir! She is the best person to ask the question. Recently, UN has contacted her to for becoming the brand ambassador of 'how to eat and what to eat and why to eat and when to eat'. (God save me!!!!)
Now the reason for my fasting on Tuesdays:

1. I fast on Tuesdays because it gives me an opportunity of not seeing something that I have been seeing for my entire life; the food. Next day, I am fresh to eating.
2. I fast because it cleanses my body of all the toxins that keep accumulating for all the week.
3. I fast because I believe in the strength of hanuman ji. He is the only god that could give us the strength to fight against the odds that we face in our life. And Tuesday is his day.
4. I fast because it saves food.
   
5. I fast because it gives me the opportunity to understand the pain of hunger, the pain of not eating.

All these reasons may sound old, cliched and boring but they are true and written from the heart; not from the stomach.

Cheers
Kundan

making sense of an ad

Recently, I saw an ad of Aditya Birla Group. It was a visual treat; good shots, great camera work and a very simply tag line- taking India to the world. But the entire ad forced a common man like me to ask a very common question-how these jumping models, walking on fire, sand and water, would take India to the world. Maybe, these ads are not meant for us (remember, common man) or I am not made for these ads. But, for me, the Aditya Birla Group ad fails to say what it intended to speak to its audiences; who ever they are. Let us take a closer look at the ad itself.

The Aditya Birla Group ad starts with a model running on water. He hits the water hard creating a cyclone. Some drop of these water hits an another model that is standing on a sand dune in a desert. And he whirls his kurta and we see a woman doing the same. She, however, is standing on a dragon. Oh! Fire is coming out of the dragon's mouth. Phew!!!

What could be the obvious meaning of this ad?

1. The ad may say that Aditya Birla Group is gaining enough momentum to walk on fire, water and sand. Air, earth and sky were the obvious missing factors.
2. The ad could even suggest that Aditya Birla Group is launching a product, not available in the world that could work alike in fire, water and sand.
3. The ad may suggest that Aditya Birla Group is a textile company that has launched a new textile range that could keep you warm in winters and cool in summers.
4. The ad could even suggest that Aditya Birla Group is an ad that nobody understands.

These are my explanations, I may be wrong. But, what I feel is that Ads are meant to communicate a product and a concept to the possible customers. They have to be simple and straightforward.
An ad may attract tricks to gain attention, but it has to justify that attention. It has to say something, loud and clear. It can't leave its audiences guessing.

Ads and the entire process of making them have evolved. They have become more inclusive.

They may adopt different strategies, but all these are meant to be more engaging, more inclusive. An ad may make you laugh or cry, but it has to convey its message. An ad that manages to convey its message in simple and clear words is a winner. Those who give more emphasis on style part lose out.

Cheers
Kundan

India singing

Singing is the new hobby of India these days, or so it seems. Every TV channel is preparing a new singing sensation that will rock India. And every Indian is preparing itself to become the latest singing sensation.

Let us count the number of shows that are busy churning the great Indian singing talent. Sony has started a whole new season of Indian Idol 3. Zee TV has waged a world war with its show Sa Re Ga Ma and Star Plus is going to compete with its new show.

Indian Idol has 4 judges, almost 10 million singers (the number may be even more!) and two hosts. Anu Malik is the head judge and he is being assisted by three other judges, Alisha Chenoy, Udit Narayan and Javed Akhtar. All the three judges ( Anu, Udit and Alisha), except Javed Akhtar (perhaps), are jobless.

Anu Malik has nothing to do, so he waits patiently, every year, for the new season of Indian Idol. He behavior on the show is close to being rude, and it appears that Mr. Malik feels that without him, the Indian Film Industry would have been song less, or would have been deprived of music. He pretends to be the Mozart of the Indian Music but some of the participants, whom he has rejected, sing better them him. My advise to Anu: Please, please forgive us, for all our sins and retire. We don't want to see you.

Alisha Chenoy gets another chance to showcase her omphs and ahs. She does nothing else, she will do nothing else. No point talking of her.

Udit is freash from the lawsuit filed by her legal wife. He is unemployed..wonder when he sang his last song.... He does nothing on the show-----mujhe lagta hai...un, un, un, apko mumbai aana chahiye---un, un, un, phir mein sochhta hun---un, un, nahi. Oh god! give me a beak.

Mr Akhtar is yet to show his antics. I am waiting.
Do you by any chance know who was the last Indian Idol or what happened to our first idol Mr. Abhijit Sawant. I bet you don't have any clue. Don't worry, you don't need to know.

My Question: Does the 21st century India need a singing idol to take it to the world scene?

I have refrained myself from commenting on the other two shows simply because I have not seen them, nor I intent to do so. Forgive me, all you singing giants. These shows do nothing good to us. They are simply a crude way of playing on the Indian sensibility to churn money.

Cheers
Kundan

funny but true

Two Delhi bus conductors are discussing the sorry affair of the traveling habits of the delhi passengers:
Delhi bus conductors 1: Yaar, sara din maro, chillao, galli do, galli khao, pur apne hath kya aata hai...4 hazar, 5 hazar rupaye
(Dear friend, we die every day, shout, abuse, get abused... but what do we get...only 4-5 thousand rupees.)
Delhi bus conductors 2: Yaar, sab kuch passenger ke mood pe depend karta hai. Kabhi to khali bus pe bhi nahi chadte... Kabhi Bhare ke pichhe bhagte hai.
(Dear friend, every thing depends on the mood of the passenger. Sometimes, they don't get in the empty bus. Sometimes, they will run after the jam packed one.)

Who says psychology is taught only in classes.

Cheers
Kundan

shilpa, kiss, morality and immoral

No, no, no......, I am not writing this article to pass a judgment on the morality and immorality of Shilpa and Gere's Kiss. What I am pondering on is the after affect of the kiss that happened on a public forum. Shilpa Shetty was furious on the so called moral police of Indian Society. She was livid by the attack on Mr. Gere's alleged attempt.

Well, its true that it is the personal affair of Miss Shetty. She is the citizen of free India and has the right to kiss or get kissed by any one whom she prefers. She has all the right to defend herself and be offensive. She, however, has no right to stop those who feel that what ever happened that eventful day was wrong.

If she has the right to defend herself, then those who did not like her act has equal right to criticize her.

Cheers
Kundan

Lara, the genius

Lara played the last match of his career. The match ended in a defeat for the West Indies. But for Lara, it has been a wonderful journey, a journey full of ups and down, many highs and as many lows, some good memories and some not so good. But most importantly, he can walk out of the ground holding his head high. He thrilled us all the cricket lovers all around the world. A truly magnificent servant of the game.